i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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