I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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