Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
