with your own penis?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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