Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
