East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
