Jerry, you need to find god
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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