Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
