I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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