I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
