Don't you send me to vm
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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