think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
