He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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