planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Randomize
