Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It's shark week go big or go home
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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