I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
