I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
