what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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