cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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