She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
