So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Randomize
