Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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