don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
