If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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