Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
