i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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