I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Randomize