I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My vagina just recognized that song.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
