i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
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