Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
