it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm always down for nudity.
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