Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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