I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
