just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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