Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
