...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
