I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
should my penis look like a turkey
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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