you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
