just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I want to fling myself into the sun
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize