my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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