East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
