did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
