got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
