dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
