I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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