Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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