I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
This is classic penis vs brain.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
