glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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