Where did you get a picture of my penis
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
