I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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