I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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