You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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