wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize