whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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