He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
