Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
