they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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