I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
