took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
