I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
