Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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