I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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