Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
vagina is talking i cant
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
