May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
