Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
