I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
