the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
