she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
