i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My feet surprised me
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
