I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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